Me and the BBC. WHAT?!??!

It's pretty amazing, and really something I never expected... When I got a call from Mark Savage at the BBC, it just didn't seem real! To be included in a story about video game voice actors is a huge honor... also, being a huge fan of the BBC makes it even better. This is a pretty big moment, and I can't wait to see what comes next!! Read the full article on the BBC here!

time to get serious!

Things have been pretty exciting in my Voice Over life lately, and a lot of it has to do with the release of Telltale's The Walking Dead Game. It has been so amazing to be a part of something so wonderfully gruesome and enthralling- and really getting under people's skin!
I wanted to get a new demo out into the world to show what else I've been up to. When Lilly is around, no one is giggling, but we needn't be so serious around here! To remedy the situation, this demo also features some of my favorite bits from Psychonauts, Tales of Monkey Island, Sam and Max, and Piki and Poko. Gotta get some Simlish in there too! Many thanks to Gudfit Entertainment and AJ Moore for making me look so good!

ohh. life.

I have just survived (barely) another birthday and, I'm not gonna lie- it was a doozy. Actually, I'm still in recovery, and it has nothing to do with crazy all night binges, trying to re-live my 20's. Yes, it was a very big one. The dreaded big one where you start to really question your whole being and really wonder what the F*ck you're doing. I know that I have found my calling, and I am thankful to myself for never giving up- even when I really felt like it was an impossible dream. Some things in my life make me so happy. Other things in my life are breaking my heart. Some things are both of those highs and lows all bundled up in one amazing yet frustrating and perplexing jumble. Ohh Life, you tricky sucker. A few days ago when the clock ticked and made me older- and I sware I felt it at that exact moment- there was a raucous knock at my door. I was mid "therapy session" with a friend - opened the door to find a HUGE balloon and card from my co-workers at the cafe. This was a big surprise and felt like the giant hug I was needing right at that very moment. The card was adorable, and came with puppy ears! I wore those puppy ears all night and made me feel like I wasn't that age- this label that I have earned just by being around a really long time.

It's really really hard sometimes to be an individual in a world that is screaming at you to be like everyone else, do what everyone else does. I have never been conventional in what I do. I know I make things harder for myself, that the choices I have made may not make sense to some- shit- I question myself too... BUT I can't give up on things I believe in with all my heart. It could be work, my many and varied dreams, or a person... I gotta stay true. I may be old. I may still be trying to figure it all out.... but aren't we all? Wear some puppy ears and pee on the floor.(ok, don't do that) how 'bout just wigglin' that tail so much that you fall on your ass? I know I will. You can borrow my ears if you want to :)

New Facebook Page : )

All this self marketing biz seems never ending, but it's the sign of the times! I decided it was time to start a facebook page for my voice acting. I'm gonna post random stuff and just saying what I'm doing these days! I'm hoping to share a lot of good news over there. Thanks for checking it out!

new website up!!

Well. It was about time to make that place rad to hang out in... it was just needing some love and it got some today! My new improved super sparkly website is ready to see the world! Martin Mulrooney from Alternative Magazine Online interviewed me- and that was so cool! That is featured on there now- and soon, OMG, there will be an interview with Mark Savage from the BBC.
Wow.
So hopefully this is the start of much more crazy exciting news to report. I hope you'll check it out!

not gonna do it.

While this may sound like a negative, that "not gonna do it" actually pertains to not giving up. I have worked so hard all my life- I have never given up on my dream to be an actor, and for all the struggle and doubt, the rewards are incredibly gratifying- and ultimately, completely worth it. I have put other things aside to focus on my career and missed out on some things because of not believing in myself.
It's exhausting, and I'm over it.
At this point of my life, I know what I want. I know who I want to share my time with, and who makes me truly happy. I love my work and the people in that world. I have more dreams to fulfill, and I'm so thankful that I have that as a constant in my life. I will remain steadfast, even when my heart feels like it is breaking. Especially then. Some people are worth the struggle, especially when they don't realize how worthy they truly are.

My lovely Irish friends told me, "What is meant to be won't pass you by." I keep those words close, and I know that for me, it is imperative to keep moving forward and seeing the possibilities- not the time limits or boundaries, and that voice in my head trying to tell me it's impossible- that shit is BANNED!- this is what I have to hold on to.
I know what is real.
Life is too short to not go for what I want... but I have to believe, and it is TIME.

Fergus. The Great Horse Frog

Meet Fergus. He is my guardian frog. This is a very suitable name for him as I have just learned that such a grand name means 'Great Horse' in Irish mythology. Fergus is quite equian in his amphibious ways. He has been with me for years, always by my front door, making sure to protect me from unwanted solicitors or bugs. Perhaps you remember Eddie, my guardian monkey. While he was a fierce protector, I've found that Fergus' style of not throwing poop at Jehovah's Witnesses is way better style. Eddie got pretty hardcore in San Francisco... he heard me talk about all the poop everywhere on the street... ended up getting pretty excited, as monkeys do- and ran off a few times. I can see how all that talk of feces and craziness would be stimulating for a monkey. It was rough for awhile... but luckily we worked it out, and he's a lot calmer now. I'm thrilled that Fergus is so unrufIfled and collected - definitely not as threatening as Eddie- but still tough. That tongue and ribbit, though... seriously- watch out! .... so he gets front door priority. Don't worry about Eddie though, he has a spot of his own in my kitchen, right by the bananas.

“The loveliest faces are to be seen by moonlight, when one sees half with the eye and half with the fancy” -Persian Proverb

My sister sent this to me today... I love it.

Thanks Jojo ♥

no hearts or flowers. just real talk.

Ok so today I just have to vent.
This one's a little heavy, folks.
A customer at work this morning knew I was a bit off, and yes, we all can't be rays of sunshine all the time. So give me a break. Some days smiling is not something I can fake. I will try but I know I'm lookin all crazy. I hate feeling fake. I suck at hiding my emotions- and as humiliating as that can be sometimes, I'd rather be able to let those feelings out when I can. Sometimes the time comes and it's not right, but what can I do?
I'm struggling with where I am and what I'm still doing- which I believe Einstein said is the definition of insanity... the insanity coming from basically doing the same day job I've done since I was 22- the locations have changed, but it's still the same deal. When I was 22, I loved it. Heck, I even enjoyed it when I was 30. Coffee was always something I could "fall back on"- I felt a lot of pride and I loved being a part of the whole buzz.
I have a big birthday number this year- and still feel some days that I'm struggling to be an "adult". I cannot help but feel incredibly disappointed in myself... I can beat myself up better than anyone could even try, and I am definitely not holding back these days.
I do need to say this: I am so thankful to have a job. I know how things are now and I am grateful to have a regular check coming in. I have never been one to take things lightly, and I will always do my best, even if it's not ideal.
All I want to do is be a Voice Actor.
It's frustrating to me to go have an amazing session, doing what I love more than anything, then having to go do a job that I'm just not proud of myself for. It doesn't feel good at all.
The sacrifices I have made to live my dream have made my life more challenging, mostly financially. The sacrifices my parents made! My Mom still helps me. I hate this, it's embarrassing...I feel terrible. My parents always supported me in my dreams, no matter. I'm so thankful for that. USSR when I was 17? "GO!" Drama School? "Do it!" "You wanna move to NYC? Of course, we knew this was coming!"
I've had some incredible experiences, but I am ready for things to be more solid in my life, to be able to take care of everything with no stress, all on my own. I wish I could be more nonchalant about things, but that's just not me. I am a crazy perfectionist, but I'm learning to not need perfection. Um, hello Nicki, it's impossible! I just want to feel ok and take care of my biz.
On the bright side- because we need that about now- deep, deep down I do believe things will get better. There are a few awesome potential opportunities brewing; I just need a miracle NOW. I will continue to wish on stars, heads-up pennies (i found 14 cents in my left boot the other day), and pretty much any opportunity I get to wish, I'm gonna do it. I believe in possibilities. Just need some movement forward, the sooner the better.
I know so many people are going through this same struggle. Some haven't even tasted what it feels like to do what you really love, and I am supremely blessed there.
Being a creative person-I think that sometimes the darkness can creep in, and it can hold on real tight. Passion is a wonderful thing but it can also wreck your head. It's just really intense to be so vulnerable. I'm thankful for my gifts; I just want to make sure I live up to my potential... and I think that's why I feel so sad now, because I know I'm not.
If you're still here, thank you for indulging me. I'm just feeling pretty shitty today and really stinking ready for things to start clicking this year.

rainy day rapp up

I always like to muse upon the the old year when the new year rolls around... and here we are, almost a month in ALREADY!
It's a rainy day, and I was feeling a little trapped in my apartment. The Irish in me heard the call of a Guinness from the pub next door, so here I am!
2011 was a pretty big year, lots of movement and change in my life.
The big physical move for me was getting the heck out of San Francisco.... while I can admire "The City" for some things, I knew for my well being it was time to get out.
The move was not far, yet a world away... just across the Bay Bridge to Oakland. I never thought I would ever live here, but almost a year later, I know that for now- it's just right.
Work last year was good, I got to be a part of some really amazing projects I'd been doing for ages, and some new stuff too. This year I'm looking forward to having the best Voice Acting year yet.... I just feel like I'm on the verge and and SO ready to have it happen. I've been working for 13 years now. It is time. Being an actor is what I am, it's all I've ever worked for- and it's a struggle... I remember when I was in Drama School and I said, "I don't care if I get paid, I just wanna act".... well hehe I've learned since then you can love your art and support your art- but that time is gonna come when your art needs to support you too- and while it brings me more joy than I can express- I'm talkin support with some real serious dollars. I'm ready for that to happen. Nothing crazy, just so I can live and not stress about the day to day anymore. It is exhausting and takes my energy away. I want no more of this!!
An amazing gift last year was of friendship and travel. I went to Texas, and it was the best adventure of my life so far. Never knew the beauty of that place, and now I am so thankful that I do. Easy travels with a perfect companion can never be underestimated. It's the best. Can't wait to see more... it's the Australia of America!
I even took a trip to Los Angeles to get some more things happenin' career-wise, and I believe everything will fall into place. I'm just really thankful for the opportunities and support I have for these times in my life. Hard work is even more wonderful when you're doing it knowing it's for something you're really looking forward to.
So here we are in 2012...it's time to get things done. I have to say that in my life now I feel more supported than ever and I'm building up my confidence more and more... we all go through the times when we doubt, but in 2012, I will do a lot less of that. Imagine it, plan it... and live it. Time is short.

New Audio Demo for a New Year!

With a new year, I've gotta get that optimism biz all revved up again. I have some really big Voice Acting goals for 2012 and I'm anxious to start feeling like things are clicking again!
After he did my video demo, I was really excited to hear my audio one too; I am so thankful and I love it! AJ is really intuitive and gets my sense of humor; I love the way he edited my characters and I can't help but smile and feel kinda proud of myself. I'm feeling ready.
In this demo we've a little "Sammun-mak" and a littler "Sam Jr."(he is a baby cockroach after all) from Telltale Game's "Sam and Max"... that little girly Sim from EA's "The Sims 3"...a bit of perkiness from "Piki Matsumoto" in Mondo Mini Show's "Piki and Poko: Adventures In Starland" ... the super rad and sassy "Lili Zannotto" from Doublefine Production's "Psychonauts"... and the Mighty Pirate Hunter herself, "Morgan LeFlay" from Telltale's "Tales of Monkey Island". As new projects arrive, we'll get more out in the universe. Here's to a better year for creativity and lots of work!