Shitty Update: Not so Shitty

I was feeling so bad... just not healthy in any way. Physically and mentally... UGH. Sometimes I just let myself be horrible to myself! It's really a bad choice.
I have to remember that it is just that: A CHOICE.
Something I have learned about myself is that when I am having a rough time of it, I need to explode: cry cry CRY and talk it out. My mother was the "winner" of this honor today. I tried to go at it alone but I needed my Mommy ♥.

I am not one to hold my emotions in, and this is part of the reason why I am a crazy actor. I suppose being vulnerable has its value. I was going through a breakup when I was recording The Sims 3, and having the amazing gift of playing a 6 year old who speaks through a language of emotion was invaluable. When I got to have a tantrum, it was so real... and I felt better for it.

After I had my meltdown with my Mom, I moped awhile more... but then I started laundry.
I jumped around on my mini trampoline a bit...
then I decided to scrub the bathroom! the kitchen!!
oooo let's vacuum!

Here I am, sitting in my clean apartment. Laundry done, bed made. All sparkly with the sun shining in.

Feeling a bit better.

I'm heading up to Santa Rosa in the morning until next week. I'm going to look on it as a retreat for myself... away from this city that I am not feeling connected to at all. That is part of why I am feeling the way I am... I just don't fit here. We have our moments together, but for the most part I am not feeling you, SF. We need a break.



Had to get out of my head a bit, and clean things up (literally)!

I feel like I can breathe now.

I am still floating!

This is the picture when I snorted! hahahaaa Look at how cute Ben is.
It was amazing. A truly perfect night!

Ben. and ME!!! OMG!!!!!!

It is almost 3 am and I need to sleep... but tonight was seriously one of the coolest nights I've had in a long time. The anticipation leading up to it was fantastic as well - I love that feeling - of looking forward to something so much, and then when it happens - well...
it was even cooler than I thought.
So Ben Folds played at the Fox Theater in Oakland last night - beautiful venue. I found out about a week ago that I won a "Meet and Greet" with 5 other fans after the show. Since that moment I have been ridiculously happy. I have met Ben before, but it was never like this. The show was full of new and quite a lot of classic "oldies" - as in Ben Folds Five stuff. I was over the moon all night! Getting led backstage after the show and waiting in the Green Room for Ben was really cool too. When he walked in, I'm pretty sure I squeaked a little. Oh and at one point he said something real funny and I snorted... he was right beside me and recognized this charming part of my Nickiness. He liked it. Ohh the smile on my face! I had him sign a picture of the 2 of us from March of 2002 (when he played in Santa Rosa- how the heck did that happen?? ) and I told him about how I'm a Voice Actor and how I think he should do a song in Simlish. And then he said, "I bet you're a great Voice Actor" and I was like omg. OMG!!!!
he loves me, it's obvious. :P
Ohh I want to write more but I am exhausted. All I can say is that he is lovely as well as brilliantly talented, and I am a very happy girl.

Sweet dreams ♥ I have a feeling mine will be :)

A very nice distraction

Clive...
siiiiiiiiiiigh
just look at him, would'ja!!??! ...
and that voice.... I melt.

babeout.