30 November, 2010

what is purple & needs a pedicure?

this photograph has a purpose.

it is to remind me of something very important:
be mindful & SLOW the F DOWN!!

28 November, 2010

13 November, 2010

Lest we forget the devotion of Captain Frederick Wentworth....


"I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W.

I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never.

Captain Wentworth to Anne Elliot"
— Jane Austen (Persuasion)

07 November, 2010

Walking down the hill with the rain in my face

Here we are, the first day of Daylight Savings Time. I woke up at 7:30- thought about sleeping more, but actually felt pretty awake. The rain was tapping on my window, and the light was beckoning me to climb down that ladder and start this day with a lovely cup of tea.
I caught the latest episode of The X Factor, squealed, cried and was a little perplexed bordering on annoyed- Wagner? Reaaaally??- but loved it all. The rain is still falling, more tea is in the kitchen, whispering my name with that lovely accent.
It was 10:00.
I've already been up for hours... what to do?
I put on my boots and my coat, purposefully leaving my umbrella behind.
A walk in the rain... for pleasure!
NOW. This is quite a big deal... working in a crap neighborhood for so many years made me not enjoy walking in San Francisco. Too much completely undesirable human traffic... I was just not interested in taking walks for fun because it always involved something gross.
Yes, I took a pleasure walk in the rain.
I had this idea that I wanted to go to Wags and see the doggies- but I wasn't sure if they'd be open....

Look at the "Nana" dog, looking up at me! I love dogs. They always make my day better.
Went to Cheese Plus, got some Yorkshire Gold (drinking it now, mmmm) stopped at Millers for a breakfast. Hair like a wet mop, coat soaked, and boots that happily found themselves to puddles. I kept walking even though I was close to home; up Sacramento to Leavenworth just so I could walk back down it and feel the rain in my face.
Why do I feel compelled to record the events of this morning?
I feel pretty good. I've had some uncertainty with stuff lately... but I believe I made the right choice for myself, and I'm experiencing positive changes already.
The rain washes so much away- it cleans the air, the streets ... and sometimes,when the sky is grey, you really can see things much more vividly.

21 October, 2010

an adynaton of sorts

the week of the flying pig: impossibilities can become reality...
what's next?

16 October, 2010

5 Blocks up and a whole new deal


Rested myself for a bit on a bench in the sun. Huntington Park; Grace Cathedral standing right there in front of me, all big and holy. I saw 4 Priests on my way up- I always want to ask Priests if they watch "Father Ted"...
Photobucket

haha I never have.
Lovely up there though, lots of dogs playing... ohh I can't wait til I can have my own doggie. There was one of these:

My favorite! No pooping though.
Anyway, it was a lovely interlude for a Saturday afternoon. Breezy and Autumny light, just perfect.

05 October, 2010

♥ ☼ ♪ ♥ ☽ ✰ ♥

Happiness is:

★a zipcar with a fastpass and ipod adapter.
★sunny skies,windows down, new Ben Folds; he says "Fuck" a lot!
★the anticipation of knowing I get to do what I love.
★a session for a job that I thought was long gone but not forgotten.
★Saying, "Kick rocks" to all that uncertainty & lack of confidence.
★taking chances where i doubted the existence of possibility and rebuilding my ideas of what I *think* I can experience.
★ ★ ★ realizing that it's totally possible for me to attain what I thought was only available to others.

In this moment, happiness has prevailed.

25 September, 2010

A view from the top


Relaxing weekend... just back from Oakland and the really stuffy BART... now on the breezy Cable Car, home again.
Hanging out with Shawna and Kat last night was wonderful. Delicious dinner, conversation ranging from laughter to tears, and a bit of alcohol all equaled a lovely evening.
Sitting on their balcony this morning, drinking tea and watching the world go by, feeling warm and relaxed was the antidote for a shit week.
Sometimes I forget how good it feels to just stop, breathe and sit in the sun.

16 September, 2010

I stepped out for a burrito and was embraced by the mist ♥

Foggy night in the PolkSac.

Mmm... tomatoey

It's really rare for me to go out to lunch, but today was a special day. Presenting: Heirloom Tomato salad at The Creamery... Yummy & beautiful.

03 September, 2010

You're only as old as you feel, right?


Tomorrow is my birthday... it feels like a big one. It's called the "late 30's". Really late.
(gulp)
I never thought much about how I would be when I got older.
I never thought I'd be married or have kids, I always kinda knew I'd be doing my own thing.
I never thought I'd be an actor. Shit, I never thought I'd be doing anything having to do with performing.
Never say never, I guess. At least about the acting stuff.
I'm feeling pretty reflective and also just wishing sometimes that I were more of a "real adult".
As in:
Having enough money to pay bills and be social
Not letting the "J Crew couples" brimming with happiness make me feel like a loser for being single
Feeling like I know what I'm doing in general!

I guess that's kinda it (haha)... and as I was typing this I realized that these things are fixable... I need to change my finances in a major way, and that means I need a different day job. I can do this.
As for the "Happy J Crew couples".... it's all bullshit anyway, isn't it?
Truthfully though- does anyone really know what they're doing?
Am I just being too hard on myself? (cuz I never do that....)

Tomorrow at a bit half past 2, I will be 38.
(deep breath)
I'm a late bloomer. It makes me crazy! I think when I turn 40 (omg) I'll be so ready for the world.
The growing pains are totally kicking my ass right now. I'm so over it!!!!!
I don't want to let the number get to me... that's all it is.
Most people think I'm in my late 20's anyway, and truth be told, I feel like I am in a lot of ways.

Tomorrow I'm gonna party like I'm turning 28, with all the wisdom of being 38.

23 August, 2010

and that is why i stumble to my knees


What a day. Up at 6, a ride to the airport in a fancy towncar (courtesy of Ariadne who was going to the airport for a trip to Seattle), fly to LA, meet Stephanie and Tony (who were so lovely by guiding me through a crazy schedule in an unfamiliar place) a session unlike anything I've ever done- definitely the most challenging so far- a pick up and drop off at LAX again. Fly back to San Francisco. Catch the Super Shuttle. Get to The Warfield by 8:30! Drink a delicious beer, probably the best one I've tasted in awhile, and watch and sing with one of my most favorite bands in the WHOLE WIDE world!!!
This is a day that I will not forget. One of the best days.

A Crowded House

I made it! A whirlwind day, seeing great friends, doing the job I love most, and finishing it up with Crowded House at The Warfield. My voice is shot, (not that it will stop me from singing) but there's a bright full moon out & I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

extreme voice acting

So exhilarated, so exhausted, so happy, & soo ready for a nap. Being possessed, electrocuted, vaporized & oh yea, having my throat slashed by aliens takes a lot out of a person. What a day!

16 August, 2010

a $60 Burger. wtf!


I had never been to such a casual-ish restaurant with such an extravagant display of meat before. Kobe beef and Foie Gras? Hot damn.
I did not eat this burger. I was actually quite shocked by its opulence and countless fat content. Burger Bar was super good though, & maybe someday when I have $60 to spare on one meal item and feel like maybe I need to eat a shitload of fattiness, I'll try this burger. Perhaps I will invite you to eat some ostentatious meatfat with me. The place is rad though, and it was a lovely day to look out on a sunny Union Square with a lifelong, super rad friend.

13 August, 2010

stuck in the middle of the "greening"

seems to me we could use a lot more green around this city. there's plenty of "manure" on the sidewalks of the TL to do some serious fertilizing :)

just cuz it's wrapped in bacon doesn't mean you should eat it

But if ya pull it, it's a whole other deal.

11 August, 2010

Prelude to a brilliant surprise


When I took this photo of my dirty ass Vans on Muni I had no idea of the happiness that would arrive in my inbox in a few short hours. I found out that I booked my *FIRST* L.A. job! All I'll say is that it's a video game, and I ain't playin no Kid! It's a huge moment for me; I haven't been down to Los Angeles since I graduated from The American Academy of Dramatic Arts in 1994. Lots has changed, but I'm sure lots is the same. I'm still pretty floored. I really hope things are on the up and up from this point on. I'm so thankful!!
P.S. I was totally wearing my Monkey socks which have *totally* proven over & over that they are for reals totally good luck.
I love this feeling!!!!

06 August, 2010

Let's Play!! (put away those cigarettes)


I had a call back at LeapFrog today, playing the character I didn't think I did very well with, so that was a very cool surprise. It was warm and sunny across the Bay and I got to sing too! Such a lift, such a fantastic way to end a long week fueled by cold medicine, kleenex and a voice that more closely resembled Kathleen Turner. As a voice actor who doesn't book based on a deep, womanly sound, it was a little stressful. I'm so happy to be back to myself again, doing what I love... very thankful for my health and the things I'm capable of doing when I feel my best. Don't forget to play!!!

30 July, 2010

swingin to the sky

the porn way


say i wanted to own a sleazy looking massage parlor on the edge of the Tenderloin, and say
i spelled my name with 2 k's, a.k.a. "the porn way"... how lucky would i be: it's already there!

28 July, 2010

it's a beauty

I'm helping out my friend lovely Ameena with my Virgo style organizational skills. She and her super rad painter husband Kris live in a place with an amazing view.... what a treat! Organizing paperwork, drinking tea and talking about all sorts of crazy shit. A day that started out rough but finished wonderfully. Things aren't always as they appear, and this is a lesson I still need to learn. I'm thankful for the turnaround I made today, happy to know that as shitty as things start, they can finish a whole heckuvalot better.

18 July, 2010

Tennessee Valley Squigglevision

My Loves: Ariadne, Shawna & Kat. A magical day in a beautiful place; one I will never forget.

14 July, 2010

Big moment


I try to do things by myself, but this was a tough one. These lovely instruments of happiness were sitting in boxes, glaring at me- making faces and mean growly noises for ignoring them. Taunting me with their power- the power that was for me, if I would just stop being such a little bitch.
Cissy, my lovely superstar voice acting pal came over today and helped me get it going... I love the sight of it and I feel pretty excited to learn more.
Being down in the dumps, having doubts about just about everything was getting tired.
The good news?
When I see a microphone, I see possibilities... so many amazing paths to take, so many interesting choices to make.
This is just what I needed today.

17 June, 2010

Спасибо Саша

Yep. I need a girly fix. Picked the polish cuz it has a rad name. "Sasha". Practically every dude i met in the USSR was tagged this velvety label. Plus, it's a rad shade of red & i'm feelin sassy like a Sasha. What better name for red polish than a sexy traditional Russian name?
Thank you Sasha.

16 June, 2010

a perfect dork with lots of sweets, just for me!!!

Thank you Erina!! You know me really well.
What a rad surprise package, and so full of promise :)
The chocolate is lovely- and you also gave me activities!! So, all I gotta do is put the Dork and "Mr. Perfect Man" in water and they grow. Simple enough.
Funny thing? The Dork grows 600% his size, while "Mr. Perfect Man" only grows 3-4 times his size...
Interesting.