While this may sound like a negative, that "not gonna do it" actually pertains to not giving up. I have worked so hard all my life- I have never given up on my dream to be an actor, and for all the struggle and doubt, the rewards are incredibly gratifying- and ultimately, completely worth it. I have put other things aside to focus on my career and missed out on some things because of not believing in myself.
It's exhausting, and I'm over it.
At this point of my life, I know what I want. I know who I want to share my time with, and who makes me truly happy. I love my work and the people in that world. I have more dreams to fulfill, and I'm so thankful that I have that as a constant in my life. I will remain steadfast, even when my heart feels like it is breaking. Especially then. Some people are worth the struggle, especially when they don't realize how worthy they truly are.
My lovely Irish friends told me, "What is meant to be won't pass you by." I keep those words close, and I know that for me, it is imperative to keep moving forward and seeing the possibilities- not the time limits or boundaries, and that voice in my head trying to tell me it's impossible- that shit is BANNED!- this is what I have to hold on to.
I know what is real.
Life is too short to not go for what I want... but I have to believe, and it is TIME.
6 comments:
I like it Nicki. Even at my age I feel the very same and applaud you for your awareness and insight! I say don't do it also.
Kristy
Thank you Kristy. Have a lot on my mind this morning... had to set it free! ♥
Keep on not doing it!!
Also... remember that the tiny voice who keeps saying "it's impossible" will always buried under the HUGE constant support of your friends! :)
Andrei...wow... thank you; that means a lot. It's a lot of ups and downs- and having such support is amazing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-nDLfFmEq8
ali <3 we can all use a lil bit o' that Bjork spirit! Thanks Love.
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