ohh. life.

I have just survived (barely) another birthday and, I'm not gonna lie- it was a doozy. Actually, I'm still in recovery, and it has nothing to do with crazy all night binges, trying to re-live my 20's. Yes, it was a very big one. The dreaded big one where you start to really question your whole being and really wonder what the F*ck you're doing. I know that I have found my calling, and I am thankful to myself for never giving up- even when I really felt like it was an impossible dream. Some things in my life make me so happy. Other things in my life are breaking my heart. Some things are both of those highs and lows all bundled up in one amazing yet frustrating and perplexing jumble. Ohh Life, you tricky sucker. A few days ago when the clock ticked and made me older- and I sware I felt it at that exact moment- there was a raucous knock at my door. I was mid "therapy session" with a friend - opened the door to find a HUGE balloon and card from my co-workers at the cafe. This was a big surprise and felt like the giant hug I was needing right at that very moment. The card was adorable, and came with puppy ears! I wore those puppy ears all night and made me feel like I wasn't that age- this label that I have earned just by being around a really long time.

It's really really hard sometimes to be an individual in a world that is screaming at you to be like everyone else, do what everyone else does. I have never been conventional in what I do. I know I make things harder for myself, that the choices I have made may not make sense to some- shit- I question myself too... BUT I can't give up on things I believe in with all my heart. It could be work, my many and varied dreams, or a person... I gotta stay true. I may be old. I may still be trying to figure it all out.... but aren't we all? Wear some puppy ears and pee on the floor.(ok, don't do that) how 'bout just wigglin' that tail so much that you fall on your ass? I know I will. You can borrow my ears if you want to :)