because of me
you gazed at the moon.
I've come to see
if this is true."
-Izumi Shikibu
(10th-11th century)
08 October, 2011
It's one of those nights
because of me
you gazed at the moon.
I've come to see
if this is true."
-Izumi Shikibu
(10th-11th century)
18 September, 2011
A favorite poem from the past
The More Loving One
by W. H. Auden
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little more time.
by W. H. Auden
Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.
How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.
Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.
Were all stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little more time.
17 September, 2011
incredible moments that lasted for days
Travel is an important part of my life, in fact, it helps me exist on this planet. If I didn't know there was something bigger out there, something more to open my eyes, it would be a tragedy. Life would be pretty dang boring if we didn't have all the amazing cultural differences to keep us on our toes.
When I travel, it's usually on my own. I mix it up with meeting friends and of course making new ones on the way, which all equals to a lot of precious memories- but this time was different, and I was not disappointed.
About a week ago I returned from a place that I really never thought I would go: Texas. I wasn't adverse to it; I just never really had it on my radar. I thought to myself, "Hmmm...Texas is the Australia of America..."- I've longed to go there since i became obsessed with koalas in 3rd grade -alas, heading Down Under is not in my Actor-y budget at this time- so I embraced this opportunity.
The really wonderful part about this journey was that I was going to be living it with someone really special to me- seeing his world through my eyes was something I wanted to experience. You know when you talk to someone on the phone all the time, they tell you stuff about where they live, what things are like, where they hang out... I love it when I can picture and understand where they come from. It makes me feel more connected, and I can better understand the similarities and differences in our lives.
Travel! Such a gift.
I arrived in San Antonio in 108 degree heat. I was escorted to the giant boots. During our 10 days together we saw copious (i love that word) amounts of animals: buffalo, buzzards, baby frogs, a baby salamander that I held in my hand(!!!), Emu, Roadrunners, hella lizards, some rad dogs, a whole lotta Nutrias, many varieties of ducks and geese, loads of fish, a snake, oooh there was a hummingbird super close to my face.... and my FAVORITE, bats. (did i miss anything, AJ?)
I celebrated my birthday on this adventure, and it couldn't have been a more wonderful time of feeling alive and excited for the future... I needed this. I woke up. My birthday was amazing. There was much stargazing, unlimited hilarity in storytelling and just straight up delight in where I was and who I was with. I was in the moment, and it felt so good. We laid on the ground, watched the bats flutter overhead, oooing and ahhing when they got real close, mixing with the stars as the glowing moon watched over us.
This was the Texas I knew was out there, this was what I wanted to experience- to me, it was perfect. Best birthday gift a girl could ask for: limitless stars, ridiculous amounts of laughter, and wonderful companionship. I can be a bit of a loner; I find a lot of contentment in my own company... but sharing this adventure was the best of my life so far- it was so easy, there were so many magic moments- and also a lot of honesty and heartfelt conversation. Finding a brilliant travel partner and friend is like striking gold. Actually, it's priceless.
I luxuriated in 10 days of bliss, 10 days of getting to know someone and the world he knows.... 10 days where I felt so happy and alive. I wouldn't have traded that time for anything.... and I can't wait til we do it again. There's a lot of Texas to see!
Sometimes you have to take a chance. A chance on an adventure, a chance on a person, a chance on some crazy thing to put in your tummy! People come into our lives at certain times for very special reasons.... I listen close to the Universe, and I pay attention to this stuff. Some things cannot be denied, no matter how inconvenient they seem, or how much your brain tries to mess with you. I was so gung-ho on just traveling abroad, but adventuring in my own country is a huge eye opener as well- and in the end, if you're with someone who brightens your world, does it really matter where you are?
When I travel, it's usually on my own. I mix it up with meeting friends and of course making new ones on the way, which all equals to a lot of precious memories- but this time was different, and I was not disappointed.
About a week ago I returned from a place that I really never thought I would go: Texas. I wasn't adverse to it; I just never really had it on my radar. I thought to myself, "Hmmm...Texas is the Australia of America..."- I've longed to go there since i became obsessed with koalas in 3rd grade -alas, heading Down Under is not in my Actor-y budget at this time- so I embraced this opportunity.
The really wonderful part about this journey was that I was going to be living it with someone really special to me- seeing his world through my eyes was something I wanted to experience. You know when you talk to someone on the phone all the time, they tell you stuff about where they live, what things are like, where they hang out... I love it when I can picture and understand where they come from. It makes me feel more connected, and I can better understand the similarities and differences in our lives.
Travel! Such a gift.
I arrived in San Antonio in 108 degree heat. I was escorted to the giant boots. During our 10 days together we saw copious (i love that word) amounts of animals: buffalo, buzzards, baby frogs, a baby salamander that I held in my hand(!!!), Emu, Roadrunners, hella lizards, some rad dogs, a whole lotta Nutrias, many varieties of ducks and geese, loads of fish, a snake, oooh there was a hummingbird super close to my face.... and my FAVORITE, bats. (did i miss anything, AJ?)
I celebrated my birthday on this adventure, and it couldn't have been a more wonderful time of feeling alive and excited for the future... I needed this. I woke up. My birthday was amazing. There was much stargazing, unlimited hilarity in storytelling and just straight up delight in where I was and who I was with. I was in the moment, and it felt so good. We laid on the ground, watched the bats flutter overhead, oooing and ahhing when they got real close, mixing with the stars as the glowing moon watched over us.
This was the Texas I knew was out there, this was what I wanted to experience- to me, it was perfect. Best birthday gift a girl could ask for: limitless stars, ridiculous amounts of laughter, and wonderful companionship. I can be a bit of a loner; I find a lot of contentment in my own company... but sharing this adventure was the best of my life so far- it was so easy, there were so many magic moments- and also a lot of honesty and heartfelt conversation. Finding a brilliant travel partner and friend is like striking gold. Actually, it's priceless.
I luxuriated in 10 days of bliss, 10 days of getting to know someone and the world he knows.... 10 days where I felt so happy and alive. I wouldn't have traded that time for anything.... and I can't wait til we do it again. There's a lot of Texas to see!
Sometimes you have to take a chance. A chance on an adventure, a chance on a person, a chance on some crazy thing to put in your tummy! People come into our lives at certain times for very special reasons.... I listen close to the Universe, and I pay attention to this stuff. Some things cannot be denied, no matter how inconvenient they seem, or how much your brain tries to mess with you. I was so gung-ho on just traveling abroad, but adventuring in my own country is a huge eye opener as well- and in the end, if you're with someone who brightens your world, does it really matter where you are?
16 June, 2011
Summer is a lot less Hostel this year
I was thinking today that last Summer, and for the previous 4, I was super busy working at Hostelling International- San Francisco, feeding travelers from all over and just really enjoying chatting people up and learning about the world through their eyes.
When I think about all the friendships I made there- it makes me miss the whole scene a lot. Truth be told, I met people through working there and through my own hostelling adventures who really changed my life, and continue to today.
When you're in the midst of a Summer Season at a hostel- it can really wreck your head- I'm not gonna lie- it is intense. Along with the 92% of awesome, super rad and open-minded people, there's that 8% that can KILL YOU! I am not even kidding. I smelled some stuff YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE and saw some ridiculous behavior that would just shock you by the commitment level of sheer assholeness! Some days I would leave work thinking, "omg reeeally? wtf was THAT all about?"
I spent the majority of my Hostel years at HI-City Center, which, in my opinion, is the best of the 3 San Francisco city hostels (they're all good!)... but let's just say it is located in a most adventurous San Francisco neighborhood, The Tenderloin. You may have heard of it... I used to talk about it a lot! It's a rough neighborhood to be sure. You will see and smell things that may make you want to barf... but now when I look back, my memories within the walls of the hostel are what make me feel like it really wasn't so bad after all. I know a lot of people who feel the same way.
While the memories are flowing, I wanted to share my love and praise for hostelling, and for all the knowledge and joy it brought into my life. In my opinion it is the BEST- and smartest way to travel... you get an affordable, clean, safe place to lay your head at night, a rad free or really cheap breakfast, and the possibility of new friendships that will enrich your life in a million ways. I usually travel by myself, so having a familiar place with that special energy is brilliant. It is a place of magic if you let it be! What else do you need really?
When I think about all the friendships I made there- it makes me miss the whole scene a lot. Truth be told, I met people through working there and through my own hostelling adventures who really changed my life, and continue to today.
When you're in the midst of a Summer Season at a hostel- it can really wreck your head- I'm not gonna lie- it is intense. Along with the 92% of awesome, super rad and open-minded people, there's that 8% that can KILL YOU! I am not even kidding. I smelled some stuff YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE and saw some ridiculous behavior that would just shock you by the commitment level of sheer assholeness! Some days I would leave work thinking, "omg reeeally? wtf was THAT all about?"
I spent the majority of my Hostel years at HI-City Center, which, in my opinion, is the best of the 3 San Francisco city hostels (they're all good!)... but let's just say it is located in a most adventurous San Francisco neighborhood, The Tenderloin. You may have heard of it... I used to talk about it a lot! It's a rough neighborhood to be sure. You will see and smell things that may make you want to barf... but now when I look back, my memories within the walls of the hostel are what make me feel like it really wasn't so bad after all. I know a lot of people who feel the same way.
While the memories are flowing, I wanted to share my love and praise for hostelling, and for all the knowledge and joy it brought into my life. In my opinion it is the BEST- and smartest way to travel... you get an affordable, clean, safe place to lay your head at night, a rad free or really cheap breakfast, and the possibility of new friendships that will enrich your life in a million ways. I usually travel by myself, so having a familiar place with that special energy is brilliant. It is a place of magic if you let it be! What else do you need really?
07 June, 2011
★ ★ It's in the stars for Piki and Poko ★ ★ ...♥
Eleven years ago a brilliant world was introduced to the interwebs: "Piki and Poko: Adventures in Starland". A lush pastelly land with hot-blooded volcanoes and effeminate trees, malignant candy and evil marshmallow bunnies! I had the chance to play a character that I connected with and love- and got to be almost every week. What a blessing for an actor! "Piki Matsumoto" is the girl. We have a lot in common; I understand her really well. She wears waaay more pink than me though- and I just can't believe how high my voice is! hehe
All of us who were a part of this show love it and believe in it so much- even years later, I still have hopes that we can continue the story. In the meantime, I am going to do my best to bring the Star Sisters and all of their friends- and foes- back to share - and hope you'll enjoy their adventures as well. The writers, animators, directors...all the rad dogs that used to hang out at Mondo Media back in the real awesome days, contributed so much magic. I loved going there! I had just begun working as a Voice Actor and I can't imagine a more amazing time or place to start my journey. I am so proud to be a part of a project that takes risks and embraces all the color, beauty and beautiful differences we can share when we open up.
To get things going, here are the first 2 episodes of the series.
I hope you love them too!
If you're on facebook, become a fan of Piki and Poko! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Piki-Poko-Adventures-in-StarLand/219234604767679
All of us who were a part of this show love it and believe in it so much- even years later, I still have hopes that we can continue the story. In the meantime, I am going to do my best to bring the Star Sisters and all of their friends- and foes- back to share - and hope you'll enjoy their adventures as well. The writers, animators, directors...all the rad dogs that used to hang out at Mondo Media back in the real awesome days, contributed so much magic. I loved going there! I had just begun working as a Voice Actor and I can't imagine a more amazing time or place to start my journey. I am so proud to be a part of a project that takes risks and embraces all the color, beauty and beautiful differences we can share when we open up.
To get things going, here are the first 2 episodes of the series.
I hope you love them too!
If you're on facebook, become a fan of Piki and Poko! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Piki-Poko-Adventures-in-StarLand/219234604767679
19 May, 2011
on the verge of Springing
Oooooh something is brewing.
Some sort of momentous event... perhaps something that has been planted in my stubborn brain. A bulb staying warm and cozy below until the sun shines on it just enough to encourage an entrance above ground.
Oh, to finally blossom!
I feel this anticipation with a strange sort of certainty that it's not bad. It's a good feeling.
Maybe it was the testicles I ate yesterday?
A calm anticipation? What is that all about?
I never thought I was capable of any sort of calmness when the butterflies start fluttering...
I'm back in a job that I did in my 20's. It's basically the same cafe with a different name. I've always loved working in coffee shops; I enjoy the culture and most of the people who cross paths and connect in interesting ways.
The problem?
I am feeling my age. I am having flashbacks of all the stuff that sucks- and I smell like coffee ALL THE TIME.
I never feel my age! With my voice acting I'm usually playing young, high energy characters and I thrive on it. I think the plain truth is that I am done with this- and I knew I was, but I went back to it- a gal's gotta have a damn day job.
I long for the day when I'm just acting- to be an Artist and only an Artist... what a pleasure.
I'm feeling frustrated- but at the same time, I feel no ties to this place. I normally get way too into things, but with this job, I'm doing what I need to do and that's that. I am looking around for something different, something where I can make more $$ and not get up at 4:30.
I'm ready for the big leap forward, to pounce like a ridiculously cute Red Panda on the things that I want to hold on to.
Even with some uncertainty and frustration, I feel like my life is finally waiting for me to hold on and get what I really want from it. It's not like I'm getting a second chance. No more of this silly trepidation! It's all about grabbing it by the bison balls and being brave enough to take a bite.
Sensing that anticipation, feeling on the verge is something I have felt before- and sometimes I just have to poop- but I'm gonna run with the feeling that things may just come together this time. Pouncing, springing and remembering that in this new world, the possibilities are all right there.
Some sort of momentous event... perhaps something that has been planted in my stubborn brain. A bulb staying warm and cozy below until the sun shines on it just enough to encourage an entrance above ground.
Oh, to finally blossom!
I feel this anticipation with a strange sort of certainty that it's not bad. It's a good feeling.
Maybe it was the testicles I ate yesterday?
A calm anticipation? What is that all about?
I never thought I was capable of any sort of calmness when the butterflies start fluttering...
I'm back in a job that I did in my 20's. It's basically the same cafe with a different name. I've always loved working in coffee shops; I enjoy the culture and most of the people who cross paths and connect in interesting ways.
The problem?
I am feeling my age. I am having flashbacks of all the stuff that sucks- and I smell like coffee ALL THE TIME.
I never feel my age! With my voice acting I'm usually playing young, high energy characters and I thrive on it. I think the plain truth is that I am done with this- and I knew I was, but I went back to it- a gal's gotta have a damn day job.
I long for the day when I'm just acting- to be an Artist and only an Artist... what a pleasure.
I'm feeling frustrated- but at the same time, I feel no ties to this place. I normally get way too into things, but with this job, I'm doing what I need to do and that's that. I am looking around for something different, something where I can make more $$ and not get up at 4:30.
I'm ready for the big leap forward, to pounce like a ridiculously cute Red Panda on the things that I want to hold on to.
Even with some uncertainty and frustration, I feel like my life is finally waiting for me to hold on and get what I really want from it. It's not like I'm getting a second chance. No more of this silly trepidation! It's all about grabbing it by the bison balls and being brave enough to take a bite.
Sensing that anticipation, feeling on the verge is something I have felt before- and sometimes I just have to poop- but I'm gonna run with the feeling that things may just come together this time. Pouncing, springing and remembering that in this new world, the possibilities are all right there.
30 April, 2011
Ladybug hunt!
I slept til about 8, drank my tea, hung out in a leisurely style; excited that this Saturday was a day filled with rad friends coming to see me.
How lovely and sweet is that?
First it was Jo and Pat. Jo is one of my best friends and she also makes my hair look great! Pat is her rad dude and while he has no hair on his head, he's still just as awesome because he has an amazing beard.
We hung out, then really just made it next door for beers and snacks. Jo and Pat are my Appetizer friends, so I waited to try the wings at Cato's til they came to hang. Spicy and deeelicious!
The next visitors who arrived were Randy and his little doggie "Benson". oooh I love that dog. I really love Randy. We just have a lot of fun all the time, and he got me into WonderCon, something that started a lovely chain of events in my life at this moment. ahhhh
*sigh*
We just talked about all kinds of stuff and then decided to cruise out to check the Comic Book store on the Avenue. We both gained some rad shit on sale, and I realized how cool Comic Book shops are! He said it was one of the coolest he has been to. It's cuz my neighborhood kicks ass :)
Randy soon departed, but moments later I received a text:
"So i hid six ladybugs around your apartment.... see if u can find them all"
BWAAAAAH!!!
It may as well have been Christmas morning when I was 8.
I started the search immediately.... I thought through where Randy was in my place- because now it's big enough for this sort of caper!!!
The first couple were pretty easy- they were chillin in the kitchen... then I recalled that he went into my recording booth (closet) and I found another in there on the music stand- and then there were a few in the bathroom... but that last one was tricky. I checked the pizza closet, but no bugs.
I sat on my couch and reflected.
"hmmmm."
I looked to my right, I looked to my left.... and there it was, on top of the intercom phone!
SUCCESS!!!!!
I was giggling like I got a Snoopy Snow Cone Machine!!!
This is the kind of stuff we remember.
It's Saturday night, I feel like a kid again. I'm so happy I'm in a place where I can celebrate that feeling. It's sad that we lose that enthusiasm... I love Randy for sharing his with me. ♥
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