I had a dream for a long time that I wanted to sing with an orchestra, to be on the stage in some sort of a dressy number, singing all the songs from characters I love. I've lost it for awhile- but I want to get that goal back again. Tonight it was Audra McDonald on that stage, and it was one of the most incredible experiences for me to sit and listen to her, watch her commit with each moment, singing from deep in her soul. As soon as she opened her mouth, my tears came out. They kept coming and coming, tears flowing for admiration, inspiration and love for something that I don't do enough- hardly at all for the last 5 years or so. Ugh that makes me sad.
Song after song, it intensified.... sometimes I feel really embarrassed about how deep my emotions are- I am not good at hiding how I feel at all. But you know what? It's me! I'm not a faker and I'm not gonna change. Screw that! It's my heart coming through, and I am so glad I have one that feels unabashedly. I believe that when you sing, your soul is speaking- and sometimes, our souls need to be heard! I just can't describe enough what this meant to me. I am so moved by the 2 hours I got to share in her world tonight. I want to keep my dreams alive, really work on stifling the horrible doubts and self consciousness, and just sing! |
1 comment:
Great post Nicki! I know it's a fine line between inhibitions and timing and preparedness and everything that makes an awesome performance. Each performance is unique and that is what is so special about performing, no matter who is there to see and hear. As a performer you grow each time you let it out and have more to draw from the next time you let out your inhibitions! Go girl! And I love your recent pictures, they are so super awesome!
Post a Comment