You know the song that good ol' Tony B sings about leaving his "heart in San Francisco"? ... I've left pieces of my heart all over, but this city has no claim- yet. Who knows? It's possible this could change. Definitely my frame of mind for today- it started rough, and ended better. Sometimes though, some days just wanna kick you in the butt and make ya think... and motivate you to make things better.
I received a call for auditions this afternoon, and it made me so happy... this has been a great week for work! 2 jobs and some rad auditions remind me that life is good, even if I get caught up in the shittiness a bit too often. I walked down to Union Square and did my thing; it was super fun and my spirit was lifted. The sun was out and I love to walk.
On my way downtown though, a car almost hit me. Now, this is a pretty common occurrence, as I feel that cars in this city do not like pedestrians. Today was the first time I yelled at the top of my lungs, "ASSHOOOOOLE!!!!!!"
The driver didn't even look at me - didn't even care that I was almost smooshed like some nasty prehistoric cockroach in the Tenderloin, or that it was the first time I have YELLED obscenities at a car, for that matter! Sure, I have pounded on a few hoods with my fist. I'll admit that I have muttered "Fuckface" under my breath at any variety of vehicles. Today I became crazy (ok, crazier)- but at least I was in the right neighborhood to really go for it.
I feel like this city is bringing out some anger and bitterness in me - with the state of the streets and how people have to live. It's depressing and seems to be totally accepted. This is what breaks my heart.
I'm really working on remedying this state of affairs - my plan is to work my ass off so I can get outta here & have a better feeling about the world around me. I also realize an attitude adjustment would help. ha ha haaaa
I do love the hearts in the city... but I think they represent some sort of fairy tale that I can't relate to. There is beauty here, to be sure - and yea, once in awhile it has crossed my path.
The thing is, there is also so much sadness and craziness and scary messed up people who are completely unpredictable- these are the details I do not enjoy about this city. A lot of it is the neighborhood I work in- it's a constant reminder of what is wrong with this place.
Maybe one day I will sing about leaving my heart in San Francisco- but for now, I'll let someone else belt it out.
No comments:
Post a Comment