ahhh the fresh suburban air!

I'm up at my Mom's this weekend; I will be up here a lot. Honey and I took a long walk today- I try to tire her out; she is a ball of crazy energy. It kinda worked...
Anyway, it was a week that sure did suck - life is just hard and confusing now- a lot doesn't make sense. We made it past the "anniversary" of my Dad's death, but now we're just waiting to find out what happened to my Mom. I really believe she will be fine, but it's all unknown now- and that is scary.
To top it all off, I did a big load of laundry last night, and I made the super lame move called "leaving lipstick in my pocket and ruining all my clothes"
Awesome.
I was really really REALLY mad at myself.
But.
Accidents happen. So I am not gonna be mad at myself anymore... life is hard enough.

So spending my weekends in Suburbia, hangin with my Mom and Honey are the important things now, and I am thankful I can be here to help...
even if I feel kinda worthless sometimes.

I need to stay positive and have hope that things will work out - they will work out, they always do... but hopefully with a happy ending.

4 Years

Time can fly but it can also be like a slug... seems when things are good it goes so fast - but when things are bad it clings to you. I can't believe my Dad has been gone for so long... when this time of year creeps in, I can feel it... memories of what it felt like to watch someone I love in so much pain, knowing there was nothing to be done to help him. I knew it was best for him to let go - I told him so - even though it hurt beyond belief.
My Dad was so amazing, worked so hard, was so selfless and lovely. As I got older I noticed his vulnerability more, especially after he got sick. He loved us so much. Even though time has passed, sometimes sluggishly and sometimes like the wind, he is always in my thoughts. You never think about losing your big strong Daddy- and when it happens....
there are no words.
I miss sharing my victories with him, but I'm glad he doesn't have to witness our sadness anymore. Cancer is so evil, so horrifying. I'm glad he is free now, even though I miss him like it was March 16, 2005 all over again.

A sports bar in Russian Hill, way too borderline Marina

A $2.75 Boddington's in a skinny bitch hood.

It's salsa

Pure refreshment: Quesadilla is being prepped ... just enough time for a Tecate.

Ups and Downs, you know... life

I had a session for MySims 3 today and I got to see this trailer promoting The Sims 3. It's really amazing!! A bit crazy to see myself, but it's kinda cool to see how into it the super fans are.
Session was great, but life is a bit heavy now.
My Mom had a seizure yesterday when she was at work, and it's pretty scary.
She had brain surgery about a year and a half ago, and I am just keeping that faith that this was an isolated incident and isn't something to do with her past operation.
She can't drive for 6 months so my sister, brother in law and I will be up in Santa Rosa to be with her as much as we can.
She has lost her independence again, and this breaks my heart.
On March 16 it will be 4 years that my Dad has been gone... I know this is a hard enough time for my Mom... and I hate that she is going through this uncertainty now.
I will write more soon.
I'm exhausted from speaking Simlish and my eyes are puffy from crying.
Ups and Downs. One moment all is right... and
then
it
comes crashing
down.

It's just one of those weeks

Sometimes i wish i had one.

Waiting for the 80