2 pm on a rainy Saturday, hangin in my pjs... feelin a bit overwhelmed with a lot of shit. I am a bit of a worrier; something I dislike about myself. I get caught up in things that I have no control over when I should be enjoying the good stuff- a warm fuzzy robe, a delicious cup of tea, music or a good day of work.
Money. The stress of my life... I am so tried of crying over it, it makes everything else that is not so bad seem way worse. It's such a cycle for me- I have it and things are fine, but then soon enough, it is gone and the stress comes back. Credit cards- BASTARDS! I did this to myself, and I fully acknowledge my folly- but it is so hard when you feel like it will never be resolved. I'm constantly trying to catch up... it seems so impossible.
ahh the actor's life!
I would never change the decisions I have made for my profession- I believe in dreams and going for it with all your heart and soul, but it can be a challenge when work is slow.
There are loads of cool things in my life, and I'm working on taking care of this issue- alleviating the stress will surely make things better. Today I just feel really weighed down by it. The lack of fun funds keeps me from being social way too often, and this makes me really sad. Laaaaaame. Feeling guilty for having a beer is depressing!
Posting this heart is meant to be a bright spot on a dreary day- a reminder of hope in a sea of heavy feelings and doubt. Going easy on yourself is always a better choice, and a lot of us are having a hard time these days... it's just hard to see the clear blue sky when the clouds are so heavy and dark. The other day I was thinking that I need to stop letting myself get excited about things- sometimes stuff just doesn't work out for whatever reason... but beating myself up for being hopeful is just silly!
There are so many things to be thankful for and excited about- and with time (and hard work), things will work themselves out. I'm choosing this belief and I'm having some beer with friends tonight. Did ya hear that? PLURAL!
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